May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
