Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
