Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
