i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
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Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
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I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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