I'm really into asian looking animals
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
