Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
