He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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