Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(530): View more from California

shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

(1-530): View more from California

just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

(530): View more from California

yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): shit pants at work. discarded underwear. (1-530): just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now? (530): yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye. http://tfl.nu/oxzl

Replies (44) Good night (870) Bad night (4776)
Favorite
(802): View more from Vermont

Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(802): Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit? http://tfl.nu/yu0u

Replies (26) Good night (4052) Bad night (1232) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you http://tfl.nu/59jr

Replies (4) Good night (4313) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(574): View more from Indiana

god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(574): god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut. http://tfl.nu/n8g7

Replies (34) Good night (850) Bad night (3687) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months? http://tfl.nu/2j7i

Replies (7) Good night (551) Bad night (3784) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me. http://tfl.nu/xhqm

Replies (24) Good night (1671) Bad night (3396) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins http://tfl.nu/u9n2

Replies (23) Good night (7996) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/p490

Replies (30) Good night (5399) Bad night (1265) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(765): View more from Indiana

Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(765): Did we both pass out talking about cake last night? http://tfl.nu/lgnr

Replies (10) Good night (4665) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(912): View more from Georgia

His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(912): His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/9x22

Replies (21) Good night (847) Bad night (5420) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(307): View more from Wyoming

Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(307): Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER. http://tfl.nu/f1x9

Replies (9) Good night (2639) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(585): View more from New York

Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(585): Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband... http://tfl.nu/78x2

Replies (6) Good night (533) Bad night (1599) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go. http://tfl.nu/xxmp

Replies (2) Good night (862) Bad night (331)
Favorite
(207): View more from Maine

Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(207): Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me. http://tfl.nu/5y8e

Replies (5) Good night (284) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(601): View more from Mississippi

Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(601): Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you. http://tfl.nu/w325

Replies (3) Good night (456) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: