It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out