worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body