Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart