If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
