so explain again why im purple
no
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
