oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
