Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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