he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
