Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
