So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
