So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it's like iHOP with fire
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
