so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
