i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
