Plan B is the new Plan A
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
