I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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