Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize