And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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