I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I party with great urgency now.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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