So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
