there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
