You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
