Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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