Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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