I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize