Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
