How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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