New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
