i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I touched a dick in church today
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