I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
