I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
