Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
