What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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