Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
