can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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