YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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