Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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