if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My pussy is not your playground.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
