i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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