every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
