You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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