I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
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we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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