I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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