I wish i was in the wii world.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
