I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
