Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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