I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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