Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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