Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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