Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize