Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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