Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
