Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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