I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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