Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So. Much. Porn.
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