So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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