found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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