Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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