We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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